Purpose of Being a Friend by Guest

Be Skillful in your Counsel/Friendship

Not every friend is a good counselor, so we must choose wisely. "the purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. (Proverbs 20:5 NIV) It takes a counselor/friend with loving patience and a discerning spirit to help us what lies deep within our hearts.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Prov 18: 24 NIV) It is not enough to have a friends, we must have a friend who will "speak the truth in love" (Eph 4:15)

Often in my ministry, people will approach me or my husband, Terry, or both of us, with personal problems and ask for advice. I , Terry or we try to avoid giving counsel for several reasons:
1. I don't know the people/person
2. I'm not going to be there long enough to continue a counseling relationship
3. A quick chat after a meeting or service isn't counseling
4. I don't want to take the place of a faithful local pastor

Often these are the questions we asked... "Have you discussed this matter with your pastor?" and answers are as common as this as following: "I talked with my Pastor but it didn't do any good." or " I have talked to Pastor but he/she doesn't understand or care about my problems!" "Oh! he/she never listen to me!" (It is then we know it is the person with this problem is the one who isn't taking in heart to listening the counseling of the Lord.) We, both also know that whatever we say will probably do little good! We set out to be a friend, while one might have spiritual sludge will slowly dissipate (vanish) from your heart's harbor(shelter), we do the best we can to show our action like David's prayer "Set a watch, Oh Lord, before my mouth; and keep the door of my lips" (Ps. 141:3). Yielding our hearts to the Lord, what comes out of the mouth originates the heart. We hold on to Proverbs 10:32 the lips of the righteous know what is acceptable. A friend who hold these values is indeed a very rich friend to have, holding and speaking words of encouragement and hope.

Our friends can often see dangers and detours that are hidden from us. With lovely kindness and much prayer and quick moving in a gentle way, have spoken what needed to be said... Has avoid rages and isolates that could have happen if we had not listen to wise counsel....is a true friend. It is a privilege to have them. They become at times "ointment and perfume delight to the heart and the sweetness of a man's friend given delight by hearty counsel. (Proverb 27:9 NKJV)

We in the Christian World.... Must be careful and be wise in our counsel/friendship. Friendly suggestions are as pleasant as perfume, but sometimes a friend's counsel may not be perfume! It may be acid! Even then, we have nothing to lose! For "as iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance(calm control) of his friend" (Proverb 27:17 NKJV) The sparks may fly, but GOD will give us the light that we need. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" ( Proverb 27:6) "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverb 18:21) How we accept and apply rebuke is a test of how devoted we are to the truth and wisdom and how sincere we are in wanting to know God's Will.

Friends who flatter us and avoid telling us the truth are only doing us harm. Not every friend is a good counselor, so we must choose wisely. In all your ways acknowledge Him (Proverb 3:6) means allow Him to be your friends and God will give you HIMSELF and provide you wonderful friends that will stick with you closer than a brother. Only a true friend will speak wisely, say the right thing at the right time in the right way, are people who store God's truth in their hearts. What a wonderful friend that person is who have God's Goodness in hearts!

Some friends live only for entertainment and try to escape the burden of life. Others live for enjoyment and try to make the most of life. God's dedicated people live for enrichment and discover fulfillment in life as they do the will of God from the heart.

The Question?! Which one are you?

Be a Godly Friend!

Karen Batts